


Lonely Souls

by Wolfstar4evr



Series: Supernatural Oneshots [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: But they talk to each other, Lonely Lucifer, Lonely Sam, Lucifer is possessing Sam, Post 2014, Post-Apocalypse, Samifer - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 11:10:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5965138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfstar4evr/pseuds/Wolfstar4evr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Based off a speech Crowley made in his first episode about how if Lucifer managed to wipe out the human race demons would be next, and Zachariah's 2014.)</p><p>Lucifer has destroyed the humans and demons, and the holy host has fled. Now, it is just him and Sam Winchester, both the same form and yet still completely different souls, the only ones left in God's last perfect creation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonely Souls

Loneliness is something that comes easily to Lucifer. Millenia in The Cage alone, millenia trapped in the warring hot and cold of hell with _nothing_ but his own thoughts to drive him insane ensured that loneliness would come easily to him for the rest of his life. It wasn't always like that; he was close to Michael before God ordered his older brother to cast him down, and he was close to his Father too, and yet like a bratty child, the moment his Father created _man_ , these flawed, murderous _apes_ , he threw a fit, and was granted (what was meant to be) eternity alone.

Until Sam Winchester, that is.

The child knew nothing of what was expected of him when his visions started as dreams so many years ago. He had no _idea_ of destiny when he saw Jessica's death, when he would wake up drenched in sweat after watching the love of his life - the only thing he had _left_ to love at that time - burn upon the ceiling of their home. Even when he was dropped into Cold Oak, physically and forcefully shoved into a fight to the death with people he had only met once but cared about by virtue of having their aquaintance, he had no clue of what The Grand Plan was. The Devil's Gate opening was a bonus and a success, sure, but it was never the end game. It was never what he and Azazel planned for all those years ago in the convent in 1972, it was part of it, but it wasn't _it_.

Now, however, Sam Winchester not only knows of his destiny, but has lived up to it with even less enthusiasm and joy than Lucifer expected, and considering he expected absoutely _no_ joy or enthusiasm whatsoever, that was quite a feat. The child is quick witted, has a sharp temper, stubborn to a fault and loyal as a dog. When he (Lucifer) killed Dean Winchester using Sam's own hands and - at the end - feet, it took a long time for the latter to speak again. Instead, Lucifer could feel rage that wasn't his boiling in the back of his mind at the place Sam's soul rests. After two years the constant fury got slightly irritating, but Lucifer never cut ties with his host. The rage - as annoying as it was - was strangely comforting. Despite how he has pushed anyone or anything that has ever cared for him away, Lucifer does not like to be alone.

 _Well_ , Says Sam, his voice echoing through the back of their shared mind. _You should have thought of that before you destroyed all of the Earth. Oh, yeah, and hell too._

Sometimes it's strange, the way Sam speaks to him. He's had long enough to get used to it at this point, however when he can literally _feel_ the undercurrents of Sam's rage in his very bones and yet hears only _calm_ , it can be unnerving how well practised the youngest Winchester is in outwardly hiding his emotions.

But there's no hiding from the Devil Himself, especially when you are literally within his mind... Or, he's within your mind, maybe.

Sam snorts. _Oh_ , he says, no small amount of sass lacing his tone. _You finally admit I'm actually the one running this then? That without me this couldn't, and wouldn't, have even been a possibility? That you are just a parasite in my body and without me you would just be a cloud of celestial nothing with a dead vessel?_

 _Shut_ _up_ , is the devil's astute reply, but he doesn't mean it. Not really. A wave of... _something_ rolls through him from Sam, and he supposes it's the child reacting to his thoughts with feelings he couldn't explain if he had the power to, and it's not as if Lucifer is any more adept at identifying human emotions. However, he likes to learn, and now Sam is his only test subject. Some days he likes to torture the boy, reminding him of how Brady killed Jess, Azazel killed John, the croats killed Bobby and Castiel and how he himself killed Dean. Sam denies that, of course, reminiding Lucifer that _Sam_ had no part in it, and it's true. While Lucifer threw Dean down and stood upon his neck, Sam screamed. He screamed for his brother, he screamed for the devil to stop, he screamed to be cut off from the outside world when he realised it wouldn't stop. He screamed when Dean died, he screamed when they later discovered the bodies of Dean's friends - Castiel among them. He screamed a contrant string of _why, why them, why me, why do you do this why are you so intent on destroying everything why couldn't you just leave them whywhywhywhywhywhy-_

And then nothing. For four years, Sam was nothing but persistent wrath and pain, until the last demon was destroyed as a result of Lucifer's boredom. _Congratulations_ , He had said, his voice completely dull and void of any and all emotion. After that, he didn't speak for another six months, leaving Lucifer with nothing to do but travel the world he had destroyed and be _alone_. Which is why, in all the ten-something years they've been together, stuck together in the same form, Lucifer has never cut Sam off from him, has never put him so far into his own mind that he's stuck there, living in altered bliss, thinking he is on a hunt with Dean or getting married to Jess. Because, even though Sam can ignore him, and stay silent and sometimes even manage to feel nothing at all, Lucifer can still feel him, and Sam is all he has left.

 _You know my soul will age_ , Sam reminds him, listening in and correcting as he always does. _One day you will have to let me go._

 _And where would you go?_ Lucifer asks, as he always does when they get into this old debate. _I have destroyed hell. Heaven has probably shut it's gates, and whoever said you were going there?_

Even though it's impossible, he can practially _feel_ Sam shrugging. _No one_ , the child replies, as always. _But I have to have hope, and although I know my soul is eternal and can't die, I have to have hope that I'm not about to be stuck here for the rest of eternity. I think I'd go insane, and you wouldn't want me around then_.

The boy has a fair point. Although an insane Sam Winchester could come with it's fair share of fun, new emotions to explore, new views on the world, perhaps a little more _impressionable_ -

 _I will find a way to kill myself before I allow you to indoctrinate me_ , Sam seethes, cutting across his thoughts like Michael's blade through Lucifer's skin.

The devil nods, to himself and to Sam, smirking slightly. _You know, you once said that about being my vessel. Look where that got you._

_Over seventy unsuccessful suicide attempts and an eventual promise from you that if I said The Big Yes then Dean would never be harmed by you. Look where that got me._

Lucifer winces at that. It's true. He _did_ promise Sam to never harm Dean, at least not while in Sam's body. He also promised never to lie. Sometimes things just don't go to plan.

 _That's one way to put it_.

 _Shut up_.

It continues like that. For centuries, that's how it continues. Sam goes silent every now and then, especially when he wants to punish Lucifer, as the archangel has become even more attached to his presence over the millenia than he was back when he first destroyed the world. They've seen many things together. They saw the eventual collapse of the Empire State Building. They watched as Niagra Falls ran dry. They looked on as London became the new rain forest, and the Amazon fell to fire and floods. They watched together as the world detoriated, as it collapsed constantly around them.

However, as it did, so did Sam's soul.

Much like the Earth and everything on it, Sam's soul slowly fell from great beauty to something that was barely recognisable, and left Lucifer feeling no small amount of regret. The quick witted boy he once knew barely knows what a joke is anymore, and his sense of sarcasm is lost completely. His intelligence, his instinct, even parts of his _maturity_ , are long gone, leaving a twisted and mangled thing constantly sitting at the back of his mind.

On good days, nowadays, Sam will just _talk_. He will talk about Dean, how he misses him, how he wouldn't believe this if he could see it. He talks about all the things they've seen. He talks about what he thinks the world would be like now if Lucifer hadn't managed to detroy it ( _Probably dead, anyway,_ is Lucifer's reply to that. _You would have destroyed it instead_ ).

On bad days, he screams. Not even with words, like he once did, just a constant, throat mangling scream that lasts for days and days and days until he stops and talks about Dean again.

On _worse_ days, he doesn't say anything at all.

However, it turns out that his worst day isn't even a bad day at all, in fact he's more coherent than he is on most good days, which is what worries Lucifer.

 _Please_ , he sobs on That Day, something he hasn't done since he finally allowed himself to mourn Dean around a century after the man's actual death. _Please, please just let me go. Even if you have to put me in hell I don't care. I can't do this anymore. It hurts. It's so cold. I'm so cold. Please. Please, please. Pleasepleaseplease-_

Lucifer can hardly bear to listen to that, as it's just another reminder of who Sam used to be, who he was way back when in a simpler time when he screamed _why_ at Lucifer because of a death the archangel promised would never come to pass. However, furtunately, he doesn't have to listen long, as Sam cuts himself off and begins to count.

It's something he started doing several centuries ago, a tool to ground himself when he realised he began to forget things, things not even Lucifer would be able to restore if he wanted to (and now he wants to, he really wants to, but if they're lost to Sam then they're lost to him too).

_One..._

One is always on it's own; Sam could never think of anything that had only happened to him once.

_Two. My birthday is May second. Mom and Jess died on November second._

That one always comes with it's fair share of pain.

_Three. John Winchester had three children. Dean, Sam and Adam._

Lucifer never knows what to think about that one; he doesn't see why it's important.

 _Four_. _Dean's childhood ended at four_.

He doesn't see how that one is important either.

 _Five_. _Five points on the pentagram in a devil's trap_.

That one's new. Five is usually that there are five things the Colt can't kill (the four archangels, and God. Probably Death, too, but Sam never mentions that and Lucifer never even bothered to mention the Darkness, but he imagines the Colt wouldn't work on _that_ either), which means Sam is forgetting. If that's the case then the child's mind is worse than he thought.

_Six. I was six months old when I killed my mother._

_No you didn't_ , Lucifer wants to say, but he holds his tongue, not sure how his only (and possibly first) friend would take at being comforted at the moment (he doesn't bother to think about the fact that he thought it at all means Sam heard it anyway, but chose to ignore it).

_Seven. I killed seven innocent people while soulless before I thought there might be something wrong._

The counting continues for days.

 _Nineteen. John Winchester died on the nineteenth of July 2006_.

No matter how much Lucifer wants it to or wills it to, it doesn't stop, and it's not in order anymore.

 _Sixty seven. Dean's car was a something sixty seven_.

It becomes more worrying as the days go by.

 _Twenty six. I was twenty six when I destroyed the world_.

Sometimes it's not even counting anymore.

_Bobby. Bobby deserved to walk._

If Lucifer was being honest with himself, he would realise that this is not what usually happens. That Sam is either silent or talking about Dean by now, but neither of those things are happening and Lucifer is not being honest with himself.

_Fifty four. Something happened with... Someone was... I..._

Lucifer continues to lie to himself. He pretends to not listen, sitting on the shores of a beach that was once hot with white sand but is now ice cold with black sand, and no all due to his presence.

 _Sam. My name is Sam. I think my name is Sam. Please. Help me_.

That acts a wake up call to the archangel, because even if Sam has been shady on the details over the years, the one thing he has never forgotten is _himself_. He has always been _Sam Winchester_. An altered version, maybe, but Sam Winchester just the same. _Please don't make me do this_ , Lucifer begs, but he doesn't even know who he is talking to anymore, as Sam is certainly no longer listening. _Please. You're all I have left_.

 _Two. My birthday is November second. Mom and Jess died on May second_.

 _You're my only friend_.

 _Twenty six. I was twenty six when I destroyed the world_.

 _You're the one who keeps me sane_.

 _Ninety thousand. Around the age I am now_.

_You are far off, my friend. When did you lose your concept of time?_

_Three. John Winchester had three children. Dean, Bobby, and... No...  
_

_When did this happen to you?_

_Sam. My name is Sam._

_Please don't make me do this._

_Kill me._

_Forgive me._

With that, Lucifer sweeps the final door closed between him and his host. Hell is completely destroyed, and he couldn't bear to send Sam there anyway, even if it wasn't. Heaven has almost certainly closed it's doors against either of them now, and he couldn't even consider calling Death and giving Sam to him to be tossed cleanly into the void. So he keeps Sam with him, still there, in the back of his mind, just locked behind a door, where he can't feel him and Sam will no longer have to suffer. Because now the man is happy, living through memories of Dean and Jess and _happiness_ , or whatever it is his soul will make him see in an attempt to heal itself.

And Lucifer thinks he gets it now, what it took for Sam to say Yes, to say yes to something he knew would utimately doom himself and the rest of the world just if it meant the person he cares about most will be safe, and the Lucifer is determined not to break his promise this time.

Maybe in a few millenia, the archangel will open the door again, just in time for them to watch the sun burn up the world together. However, in the meantime, he will have to be content to do what he did all those thousands of years before his first friend freed him:

Sit, be alone, and wait for Sam Winchester.


End file.
